Just To Freak You Out VIII

The Freak Out series continues this week with a brand new episode. Some of this stuff is just unbelievable.

We'll kick things off with some small but significant Atlanta Thrashers concept attempts.

I'm not sure I can find the words to describe this. The thrasher head, while being used as a major element of the crest, has also been employed as a rather horrid stripe. It points up the arm the shoulders along the sleeves and runs across the waist.

The secondary logo is used on the front of the jersey on the right side while the player number is on the left. Captains be damned. The full primary logo is also featured on the front, but not as the crest. No, you'll find that at the bottom on the left.

The crest being used features only the bird's head on an "A." But hey, at least there's three to choose from. Also notice that the panel under the arms is blue on all three.

This jersey set is an eye sore of the worst kind. But just look at the socks. I've never seen a logo on a sock. These socks have three — each! And that's just the side we can see. Imagine if they appeared on twice or even three times.

It hurts my brain to imagine what these would look like on the ice.

And then this. Anyone who thought the Maple Leafs introduced a rather plain jersey should see this.

And though I'm not sure who's conjuring the anger, I can only guess that it's fans who feel like they've been somehow cheated because the letters were spread vertically (not squeezed horizontally).

We're just now hearing of the NHL's plan to expand once again.

We don't yet know what city they'll play in, but the new club will be named the Referees. I don't know why this was made. But it made me laugh — and then it freaked me out some. Speaking of which, we've all seen the mish-mash logos created by Pfizer. Well this one was created by another artist, but it's almost equally as disturbing.

It seems some folks hate the slug so much, they feel a beheading is the only solution. Indeed.

Oh, this deserves an explanation. The fervor over the Calgary Flames claiming the Albertan flag on their shoulder has spurred the Toronto Maple Leafs to go all out and convert their entire uniform into a Canadian flag. With the vintage logo, of course. No other way to go.

And finally, if you thought the text on the front of the new Vancouver Canucks jersey was as bad as it gets, wow. Just wait until you look at this.

I never cease to be amazed — or freaked out — by the things people send me. If you have come up with anything wacky and would like to make it a part of the Freak Out series, send it along to nhllogos@gmail.com.

I hope you all enjoyed your Freak Out Friday and are looking forward to the ninth installment coming in one week's time.

Can anyone tell me where the Canucks play? I seem to have forgotten.

Just To Freak You Out VII

I've decided to make the Freak Out series into a weekly feature to be posted on Fridays from now on as long as crazy artwork keeps landing in my inbox. And man, do I have some stuff for you this week.

We'll begin with our friend Pfizer who's created mish-mash logos for the likes of the Vancouver Canucks, Buffalo Sabres and New York Islanders (check out the Freak Out series for those if you haven't yet). Now comes another shot at logo merging for the Los Angeles Kings.

For my money, it's not his best effort, but it makes me laugh no less. I'm a little disappointed he couldn't find a way to work in the current crown logo. But then it does feel a little thrown together. You have to admit, though, that king face is a great logo. Don't mess with that son of a bitch.

Meanwhile, I've got some completely new takes on a couple of team logos and uniforms. Imagine the Boston Bruins swapping out the yellow for red. Then imagine a cartoon bruin the likes of which might be owed money by Yogi Bear.

He's come to collect. Then imagine the Colorado Avalanche adopting a yeti for their primary mark. Might it frighteningly go a little something like this?

We should hope not. Lest ye bear the brunt of the abominable snowman's ever-clenched fist. And what's up with the upside-down feet on the shoulders?

Speaking of what-ifs, let's say the Kansas City Scouts were to make their glorious return to the NHL. Let's also say their return was marked by the uprooting of the Pittsburgh Penguins. Yes, this design was made in the days when the Pens' future was uncertain. I point that out merely to explain its color usage.

If you enlarge the image, you can read the designer's explanations of the three logos, so I'll spare you the details here. What I will say is that I like Patch 2. I'm a big fan of city skylines in logos, though you don't see that a whole lot. What's cool about this one is the new Sprint Center being placed to look like a puck. Clever.

The horse's eyes are freaking me out, by the way.

This next image is probably best viewed while high. I don't condone drug use, but chances of one having an "experience" are rather great. See for yourself.

Someone with a good deal of free time and an inability (or not) to cure boredom came up with this. He basically recolored the Montreal Canadiens' logo in the colors of various teams around the league. Conspicuous is the absence of the Tampa Bay Lightning's colors. But I guess not everything is about the Lightning.

Now I want to show you some of the scariest things of all — because they're real! Okay zombies aren't real, but movies are real. A reader emailed me a production still from the new Resident Evil movie. One of the zombies appears to be wearing an old Nashville Predators sweater.

Talk about foreshadowing. That's not even right.

And finally, a reason for all those NHL fans out there bemoaning the arrival of the new Rbk EDGE jerseys to quiet themselves. It could have been so much worse. A fact proven by the AHL's Philadelphia Phantoms.

AHL fans, continue your bemoaning. It's perfectly warranted.

Freak.

Out.

Just To Freak You Out... Some More!

Yes, you read that title right. Back by popular demand, I'm going to get your weekend off to a kicking start. I have the weird and crazy; a whole slew of new and wacky concept designs just meant to freak you out. So buckle in, it's going to be a long one.

I'm going to have a theme of red and black tonight. You'll see what I mean, but first I need to show you this.

From the brilliant creator of the Sabres and Canucks mish-mash logos comes this gem. True art in its rawest form. I dare anyone to attempt to improve upon that.

But since you can't, we'll move along. Do you like the color combination of red and black? Sure, if you're a Devils, Hurricanes, Senators or Coyotes fan. But what about Sabres, Predators and Canadiens fans? What about Leafs fans? Look on if you're brave enough.

It's a little blinding, isn't it? You might be surprised to discover that these designs all came from different people. Bad enough to have one disturbed mind out there Devil-ifying all these jerseys. There are at least four.

This Canadiens concept just scares me so I want to stop looking at it. The Sabres one just looks like a bloody slug (I knew that comment was coming so I wanted to head it off). And the Predators... well that doesn't look half bad if you ask me.

But imagine what kind of disturbed mind I must be to posting this stuff.

Wait. You need to catch your breath before you see this. Maple Leafs fans, ready your eyeballs for this one.

Wow, you're still here. I'm impressed.

All right, now I'm going to ease off a little bit. These designs are not so much horrifying as funny.

Dude, you spilled some oil on your— oh, wait... I see... yikes. Yeah. Oilers fans, I'm genuinely interested to know how you feel about this particular concept. I know it's been floating around a little, but it's just so... out there.

So what if the Rangers did this?

We probably ought not think about it.

Someone spent at least 30 seconds making this.

A missed opportunity, I say.

As a tribute (or not so much) to what I'm going to start calling the "VANCOUVER Incident," someone had some fun with other jerseys.

Similar work on the Sens, Isles and Jackets can be found in the Concepts Gallery. Now I'm going to wrap up where I began — Long Island. Imagine if Reebok decided the NHL should go the way of basketball.

Check out that outline of the island in place of a horizontal stripe. All is well.

Just remember, you guys asked for this. Let this be an object lesson in the notion of being careful what you wish for. Actually, if this keeps up, we'll make it into a weekly feature. So if you've made or found crazy crap like this, feel free to send it my way at nhllogos@gmail.com and who knows, you just might freak somebody out.

Just To Freak You Out, Part 5 of 5

I know you'll all be sad to see it go, but today I'm wrapping up my week-long series of whacked-out and crazy images. So let's get this final show on the road. Our first stop is Pittsb— er, Kansas City. Or, well, I don't really know. You figure it out.

I know we've seen a lot of crazy shit, but wow. A Kansas City Scouts Rbk EDGE jersey with Sidney Crosby's name and number. I'm sure this design was concocted in the days when the Pens' future was largely uncertain. With KC looking like a predator ready to pounce, you never know. Just, wow. I don't really have any other words. Maybe you guys can find some.

Over in Philly, there's a consortium that can't tell the logo forms a "P" unless it's cockeyed.

My neck hurts from looking at that. My eyes hurt after looking at this.

Ha ha. Now your eyes hurt too. I promise I won't do that anymore.

Oops, gotcha! You guys are easy. Anyone want to see a black coyote?

Probably not anymore, huh? Seriously, though. Charlie, from SabresNotSlugs.com really needs to see this. It could be the new logo for his site.

Somebody didn't like the slug. Showed it what a sabre is. Then gutted it. Sad story, really. But you guys haven't seen the half of it yet. Remember the amazing composite logo Pfizer created for the Canucks. He dropped the Sabres logos into the same blender. It produced this.

Maybe that should be your new logo, Charlie. Sometimes we just don't recognize how good we have it.

I hope I've been successful this week in freaking you all out a little bit. My goal is to show you that what you have, despite what some of you think, isn't that bad. We all like to moan and complain about changes but just remember, they could've done so much worse. And then where would we be?

I'm going to leave you one last little nugget, though. On Tuesday I posted a crazy concept for the Tampa Bay Lightning. I also asked if someone might be able to show me what it would look like on a player. As I close out this series, let me leave you with that image. Let me burn it into your soul.

Big time thanks to Russ for that one!

Just To Freak You Out, Part 4 of 5

My week-long series meant to freak you out a little continues today. If you thought the last three days were something, just wait until you see what I have for you today.

Canucks fans, a lot of you were unhappy with the new uniforms unveiled yesterday. But just remember. It could've been so much worse.

Told you. And what if they hadn't gone so far back to find vintage colors? What if they stopped in the '80s?

That's what.

Oh and I had to share this one. The Canucks seem to be all about mixing and matching. So here's what might've happened if they'd gone with this idea back in 1997 instead of the orca. A little scary but not horrible.

If you want to see horrible, imagine the Minnesota Wild in North Stars colors.

Try not to gouge your eyes out. It doesn't get any bigger for a reason. Quite frankly, I think the Wild have excellent colors. If you're among those who only see Christmas colors, I challenge you to find beige and yellow among the more common decorations. But that's neither here nor there.

Moving right along. While we're on the topic of throwback colors, what if the Phoenix Coyotes had gone with Jets colors?

It's a rather frightening thought. You don't know what bad is until you see and red and blue howling coyote.

But I've saved the best for last, dear friends. My pals over at ThePensBlog.com came up with a good bit of satire that pokes some friendly jabs at the Reebok folks.

You may not realize at first glance, but that's the front of the jersey, not the back. I love the giant NHL logo at the bottom. If you want to see the number, there's the damn number. Crest be damned! But don't riot yet. You haven't seen the worst part.

Now you can riot.

Have a nice night. I'll be back tomorrow.

Just To Freak You Out, Part 3 of 5

So this week I'm running a series of crazy concept designs meant to freak you out a little bit. Let's get to it now.

I have to start with the colors we've all grown fond of this afternoon. Yes, you know the ones. But beware, you're about to see them on a jersey that will make you blink a few times and perhaps tap the side of your monitor. No need, though.

Being of generally slow wit, it took me a moment to realize that this Carolina Hurricanes jersey was being recolored based on the team it used to be. Yes, friends, the Hartford Whalers. But just look at that blue and green hurricane. Scary.

Somebody else had a similar idea. Look at that thing.

And then somebody with a twisted soul had an idea. Let's go all the way back to the New England Whalers... and kill Pucky... on a jersey... made by Reebok.

Yeah. And while we're on the topic of creatures of the deep, let's see what could've happened if certain fans had been asked to design the new uniforms and logo of the San Jose Sharks.

Huh? Wait, that one's actually kind of good. Dude, I like that logo. What is it doing here? Oh I remember. It's serving as a segue to this.

I can hear the screaming all the way from here. But before you go all thinking this design is completely without merit, don't forget about our friendly California Seals. Yes, this design is based on that old '60s uniform.

Completely and utterly crazy if you ask me. And I know no one did, but I'm sharing my thoughts anyway.

Let's roll on, now. Because before I go, I need to show you this logo someone emailed me for the Dallas Stars. Yes, the Stars need a logo redesign, but is this really the answer?

There's only one way to find out. Comment now and come back tomorrow for Part 4.

Just To Freak You Out, Part 2 of 5

I'm back with more weird and wacky designs from the world of hockey art. Prepare yourself.

What sports franchise first comes to mind when you think Miami? The Dolphins, right? Well what made them famous? Was it their colors or the fact that football is one of the most popular sports in the U.S.? Well, the colors, obviously! So to help out the Florida Panthers in becoming more famous, one designer swapped out their colors. Take a look.

Go ahead. Rub your eyes. You aren't seeing things. Can you believe that? One incredible design after another, I tell you. Still, I can do better.

You'll have to look closely to tell, but that, my friends, is another fascinating concept for the Tampa Bay Lightning. No crest. Crazy numbers. The most original design I think I've ever seen. Here's my question: Can anybody Photoshop this jersey onto a picture of a player? Because I totally want to see how that bad boy looks on the ice.

The Phoenix Coyotes had a great logo when for some reason they decided to throw it to the wolves in 2003. They dropped out what made their logo unique and colorful. Guess bland is back. Or not, so this designer thinks. Check that out. It's a wonderful combination of old and new.

Kind of like this. And while we're on the subject of that crazy Canucks logo. What you really need to see is the fully-colored version.

How can you improve upon something like that? It's like finding pure gold in the Black Hills. Oh, and while we're still on the topic of Vancouver — all you Canucks-haters — feast your peepers on these.

Yesterday we had black and neon green. Today we've got black and sky blue. If I haven't freaked you out enough yet today, just wait until you see this. I'm going to make this lousy post come full circle right before your very eyes. Behold.

From Panthers to Canucks. And I don't even have the words to describe it. No words would be worthy of describing it.

You'll tell your grandchildren this story. And you know it. Stay tuned. More is on its way tomorrow.

Just To Freak You Out, Part 1 of 5

Today I'm starting a weeklong feature I hope you all will enjoy. As the title implies, the images I post here are meant to freak you out a bit so don't be surprised if you see the weird and wacky in what follows.

I've gotta kick it off with this photo because it's what gave me the idea for this series.

This photo comes from a bored fan at a Vancouver Canucks message board. Talk about identity crisis. How about those colors? Black, silver and neon green. Don't miss the recolored flying skate logo on the shoulder and the neon green Johnny Canuck on the side of Roberto Luongo's helmet. Stunning. Absolutely marvelous.

It gets better.

Now speaking as a Lightning fan, I can honestly say that is one color scheme I would have never dreamed up. It's not a horrible design on its own, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to recognize Vinny, Marty and Brad underneath all that... whatever it is.

But let's not stop there.

Sabres fans, have you ever considered going with a blue and gold goathead for your primary logo?

Part of me wants to think someone was just trying to prove how silly a yellow buffalo would look (see the current "Buffaslug" logo). But the part of me that attempts the use of logic fears someone honestly considered that to be a decent option.

Take me now!

If none of that has given you nightmares, then I'm not doing my job. Read on.

Friends, you won't believe the scariest thing about this beast. It's real. This sweater — if we can call it that without sullying the name of actual hockey sweaters everywhere — was actually produced for the St. Louis Blues. I'm not kidding. Surnames and numbers were stitched onto it. But with thanks to the holiest of gods, it was never actually worn during an NHL game.

Mike Keenan may have made some bad decisions in his life, but his refusal to allow his team to wear this monstrosity in 1996 is not among them. Can you imagine? Blues fans, you dodged a bullet and you will forever be in Keenan's debt. And do not ever forget that!

All right, now it's your turn. What do you guys think of these designs? Comment below.

I'll have more crazy designs all week. And as always, if you've seen any crazy designs or have some of your own, I'd love to see them. Email me at nhllogos@gmail.com.